


"Happy 4th of July 'merica!"

by Sweetloot



Series: Texts From Last Night [1]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkwardness, Budding Relationship, Fluff, Fourth of July, Friendship, Funny, M/M, hopefully funny I mean I can't really tell anymore, not really much to do with the 4th of july just that happens to be the setting, this is mostly just a doc kai and donut story though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-04
Updated: 2014-07-04
Packaged: 2018-02-07 09:40:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1894290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweetloot/pseuds/Sweetloot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"He was very confused, very confused and very turned on and this was very bad because it's probably really unethical to have a boner around a client's dog when he was supposed to be giving it a bath."</i>
</p><p>Donut isn't very subtle, Sister isn't very helpful, and Doc is a very popular person to text, apparently.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"Happy 4th of July 'merica!"

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write something for the Fourth of July and then this happened.

He was very confused, very confused and very turned on and this was very bad because it's probably really unethical to have a boner around a client's dog when he was supposed to be giving it a bath.

Doc was working as an intern at the vet clinic, still unsure if he wanted to get into human medicine or not, when his phone had buzzed in his pocket. He really should have turned it off while working but he had been in a hurry this morning and forgotten to.

He swiped his thumb across the screen to unlock it, holding tightly to the leash in his other hand so he wouldn't have to chase down a stampeding Irish Wolf Hound. Luckily the dog was content to lay at his feet for a few minutes while Doc checked his messages. He finally got the message to load and was able to properly look at the picture...

...and nearly dropped his phone into the dog's bath water.

_'These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like FREEDOM!'_

Doc choked, feeling like he almost swallowed his tongue looking at the picture. He could tell it was Donut ( _'not by his ass nope, nope'_ ) because he had taken the picture in front of a mirror, face turned towards it while he showed off the shorts. 

It was almost the Fourth of July so it would make sense that Donut would want to look patriotic, hence the little flags on the back pockets, but what didn't make sense would be why he would be sending the picture to _him_ of all people. They didn't really know each other, Doc just the nerdy new neighbor that the really hot farmhand had given his number to in case his family needed any help around the house. Doc was sure it had been the sun in his eyes that made it look like Donut had winked at him when he said it, turning back to go back to where he had been putting hay bales into the back of a truck. Doc did not stare at his ass when he walked away, he did _not_.

Doc pulled up a new message, texting the first person he could think of that might know what to do in this situation.

_'Kai that hot guy that grows the organic vegetables just sent me a pic of his ass in short-shorts what do I do??'_

It wasn't ten seconds later that he got a reply.

_'bone him'_

_'You don't just bone a guy you've barely met.'_

_'I have.'_

_'Remind me to buy you more condoms but seriously kai I need help here.'_

_'dick pic?'_

_'no! I don't think sexual harassment is the answer here.'_

_'for a guy that texts someone asking for help while she's getting ready for a party you sure are picky'_

_'party?'_

_'yeah it's an early 4th thing my bro is going to i'm following him'_

_'be sure to have a designated driver.'_

_'grif's nerdy boyfriend is driving so shush ur head mom'_

_'drunk driving is a serious matter kai but seriously what should I do should I act normal is he flirting with me??'_

_'doc I know people call me dumb but u really are setting a new high'_

_'KAI!!'_

_'okay okay damn calm down aren't you at work or something??'_

Doc looks down at his feet, suddenly guilty for wasting so much time.

_'Yeah, I am.'_

_'then deal with it later there is a time and place for a hot piece of ass you know'_

_'okay, I'll text you later have fun at the party'_

_'u know I will ;)'_

Doc puts his phone away, making sure to turn it off but not before saving the photo to an album. The dog at his feet sits up, looking at him with a face that Doc would swear was judging. “Hey, don't look at me like that. You lick your own balls.” The dog didn't respond, as expected. “I need it, for science!” Still silence. “Fine, move it, Freckles. Caboose is going to start wondering why a flea bath is taking so long.”

The day passes slowly after that, Doc's phone burning a hole in his pocket. It was his turn to close the clinic. He flipped the sign to 'closed' before making sure that the sign indicating that they wouldn't be open tomorrow in observance of Independence day was taped firmly to the window.

He's proud to say that he didn't look at his phone on his way home, making sure to keep it in his bag in the backseat as he drove home. By the time he gets home he's too tired to think about texts and simply made himself a quick dinner and went to bed.

He slept in late the next morning. He was glad he didn't have to go to work because he would have already been late. Doc sits up, slipping his glasses on his face, and turns on his phone.

_You have 13 new messages._

Doc frowns, wondering what could be so interesting.

Some of the texts are Church asking if he knows any good way to treat poison oak because Freckles ran off into the woods and Caboose had run after him, apparently through poison oak from the sounds of it. He texts them an all natural remedy before scrolling down past well wishes from his mother that he marks important so he'll remember to respond to her.

There are a few from Wash, a picture of a new friend he made during his tour on active duty. The man beside him was a giant, head either bald of shaved, a scowl on his face. Doc has the brief thought that he could eat people before sending back a few smiley faces and a congratulations for making friends but also warns him of the effects of Stockholm Syndrome. Wash texts him back with a picture of himself flipping Doc off. Doc just laughs.

He's scrolling pretty quickly through his messages when one in particular catches his eye.

_'Hey doc did u get my message?'_

Doc scrolls further, more messages from Donut following.

_'I was feeling extra patriotic today, did u like my shorts??'_

_'Are you going to the party today?? it'd be great to see u there, then you can see my outfit in person!'_

_'Just saw Kai, she said u had work to do. Bummer :('_

_'oh well I guess there will be other opportunities'_

The next message he gets is from Kai, sent some time late last night.

_'spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch' from the sidewalk' Happy 4th of July 'merica! U picked a real keeper there doc, i approve'_

Doc smothers a laugh, really wishing he could have been there to of seen that. Maybe helped Donut out. It wasn't about seeing Donut shirtless, he had no ulterior motives at all. Nope.

He waits to text Kai, knowing she's probably hungover and in no mood to hear her phone.

The next text was from Donut again.

_'u still haven't told me if u liked my shorts'_

Doc nearly throws his phone when he reads the next message, his tan skin feeling like it's on fire.

_'i mean if u don't like them i can always take them off ;)'_

**Author's Note:**

> The texts that inspired and contributed to this fic can be found [here](http://textsfromlastnight.com/Text-Replies-58094.html) and [here](http://textsfromlastnight.com/Text-Replies-51326.html).
> 
> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are always welcome.
> 
> Happy Fourth of July!
> 
> (Forgive any OOCness or typos...)


End file.
